MEGALODON SHRINE
ZOEY INSTITUTE FOR AQUATIC OVERCOMMITMENT (ZIAO)
MEGALODON LIVE VIBE CHECK:
Syncing Tectonic Jaws...
Syncing Tectonic Jaws...
I. INTRODUCTION & BIOLOGY
Subject: Carcharocles megalodon (Prehistoric organism measuring "Too Large").
Composition: 97% Jaw, 3% Ambition, <1% Respect for Boundaries.
Hunting Strategy: "Approach With Confidence." Accelerate to fast, open mouth, let physics handle the rest.
Composition: 97% Jaw, 3% Ambition, <1% Respect for Boundaries.
Hunting Strategy: "Approach With Confidence." Accelerate to fast, open mouth, let physics handle the rest.
II. SIZE ESTIMATES
- 45-60 feet in length
- 1-2 city buses
- 1.3 existential crises
III. THE SCIENTIFIC QUIZ
Q: What was the Megalodon's primary hunting strategy?
IV. RESEARCH TIMELINE
23 Million Years Ago: Megalodon appears. Ocean goes, "Oh."
2.6 Million Years Ago: Disappears. Theories include climate change and poor financial planning.
2.6 Million Years Ago: Disappears. Theories include climate change and poor financial planning.
V. MEET THE TEAM
Dr. Marina Thalasson
"It would absolutely bully cargo ships."
"It would absolutely bully cargo ships."
Dr. Coraline Fathom
Once mistook a shopping cart for a Megalodon.
Once mistook a shopping cart for a Megalodon.
Prof. Lionel Brine
Has been wrong 87% of the time, but with conviction.
Has been wrong 87% of the time, but with conviction.
Zoey
Ensures research is scientifically inaccurate but spiritually correct.
Ensures research is scientifically inaccurate but spiritually correct.